Sunday, December 5, 2010

LaLa Land

That is where I think I have been living with my band and life for a while now.  I had a nice long talk with a sweet friend today who kind of opened my eyes to some things I need to change. 

I am so happy that I got this band.  It honestly has been the best decision I have ever made.  It has literally changed my life.  I cannot imagine where I would be right now (weight-wise) if I had not made the decision to have this surgery.  I have not been posting a lot about my weight because honestly I didn't think I am where I should be.  But what I realized today was that everyone has their own journey and I am exactly where I should be.  I need to start being grateful for where I am than where I'm not.  I am down 55 lbs and that is awesome!  I can walk and talk and not get winded anymore.  I can fit into jeans that I have not been able to since high school.  My face is so much thinner and I think I look pretty again.  I have gotten to meet some pretty awesome ladies because of this little band.  So much stuff has changed for the better and I am so thankful for that. 

My sweet friend also made me realize that I have a support system (y'all) and I am not taking advantage of it.  She says that I am being "too southern" and not wanting to ask for help with my problems or wanting to bother people and dang it if she isn't right!  I have been that way my whole life.  I have never wanted to bother people with my problems.  I have always been the people pleaser and never wanting to rock the boat.  I have been walked on plenty of times in my life because of this.  I am going through a lot of stuff right now and it is very hard on me.  Instead of asking for help and support I internalize my feelings and it makes me feel worse.  I guess I just feel like when I am always complaining on my blog I think people don't want to read it or I feel like I am being a Debbie Downer.  It is my nature and I want so bad not to be this way all the time.  I am going to work on it, but it's a slow process so y'all are just going to have to bear with me as I work through this.  


  1. We wouldn't think that. You are going through a rough patch and you're allowed to vent about it every day if you want to - we'll be here and read and wait and hope some day you'll feel joy soon again - until then - it's your blog and your feelings - so they are valid. Asking for help takes strength and it's hard but super worth it. It makes the person you are asking feel valued and needed so it's good for everyone.

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  3. I lost my post... Anyway, This sweet friend character sounds wonderful... vibrant and sexy, even vivacious! I would love to meet her... She sounds like she adores you too. And she is right... so she must be smart and funny too. Well, enough about this sweet friend... let's talk about me. I think you're amazing and thoughtful and sweet... You are great! and I am jealous of this sweet friend. *M*

  4. ((hugs)) we are here for you! Glad you listend to your wonderful friend- your "friend" seems to have many of the same qualities as my roomie in Chicago... awesome! Oh, and if you are ever feeling down, just think back to the pajama party in Chicago- that should give you a big chuckle... tee hee.

  5. It's hard to let people in, I am that way too. I'm glad you opened up!

    Someone once told me that if I don't let people in, I can never be a true friend- a true friend is not a listening doormat, but a real person, with feelings, and shares.

    Good luck on the weight front- 55lbs is great! You have been through a lot- give yourself the gift of being a true friend- you deserve it!

  6. There's no such thing as "too Southern". If you need to vent, that's what we are here for. You've had a lot going on this year, so yell, scream, sing or shout from the mountain. We are here to help!!