That is where I think I have been living with my band and life for a while now. I had a nice long talk with a sweet friend today who kind of opened my eyes to some things I need to change.
I am so happy that I got this band. It honestly has been the best decision I have ever made. It has literally changed my life. I cannot imagine where I would be right now (weight-wise) if I had not made the decision to have this surgery. I have not been posting a lot about my weight because honestly I didn't think I am where I should be. But what I realized today was that everyone has their own journey and I am exactly where I should be. I need to start being grateful for where I am than where I'm not. I am down 55 lbs and that is awesome! I can walk and talk and not get winded anymore. I can fit into jeans that I have not been able to since high school. My face is so much thinner and I think I look pretty again. I have gotten to meet some pretty awesome ladies because of this little band. So much stuff has changed for the better and I am so thankful for that.
My sweet friend also made me realize that I have a support system (y'all) and I am not taking advantage of it. She says that I am being "too southern" and not wanting to ask for help with my problems or wanting to bother people and dang it if she isn't right! I have been that way my whole life. I have never wanted to bother people with my problems. I have always been the people pleaser and never wanting to rock the boat. I have been walked on plenty of times in my life because of this. I am going through a lot of stuff right now and it is very hard on me. Instead of asking for help and support I internalize my feelings and it makes me feel worse. I guess I just feel like when I am always complaining on my blog I think people don't want to read it or I feel like I am being a Debbie Downer. It is my nature and I want so bad not to be this way all the time. I am going to work on it, but it's a slow process so y'all are just going to have to bear with me as I work through this.