Saturday, November 20, 2010

I am Batwoman

If we are friends on FB you probably know already, but I was assaulted by a bat this evening in the garage. 

My dad and step mom are installing a hardwood floor and since my dad is out of town tonight I was recruited to help my step mom.  She needed a board cut so I went out into the garage to the saw and out of freaking no where this bat comes flying down at me.  At the time I didn't know it was a bat, I just knew it was a gigantic black thing flying at my face!!  Once he landed on the floor (and after I stopped screaming and jumping around) I realized what it was.  A furry, beady eyed bat!  I have seen these things in a zoo but never this up close.  It started moving its wings and moving around on its nubbin things at the end of the wings.  Every time I moved, it starting squeaking in what I can only assume was the attack noise to signal it was about to fly at me again.  I of course did not notice that my dogs came into the garage with me so when Grace brushed up against my leg the screaming and jumping started all over again thinking that I was part of some hunting trap with a heard/gaggle/pod of bats.  I started screaming for my step mom that there was bat down here and to come help me.  I should mention at this point that the bat had strategically placed himself in front of the door to get back into the house and also in front of the garage door opener.  Well my step mom, instead of hearing "bat" she heard "Max" which is my cats name and left me for dead while yelling "Max is up here, don't worry".  Once I was able to establish that I was being held hostage by the furry killer she came down.  She was afraid to open the door but she did manage to open one of the garage doors and toss me my phone.  At this point I called my dad to see if he had any tennis racquets/poison/shotguns around so I could make my escape.  Yea, that was a mistake.  After the 15 minutes of laughing he just told me to make sure it was out of the garage before he got home!  While on the phone, my idiot dog Moose went to investigate.  The bat started shrieking again and I was hunkered down behind the table saw waiting for the second attack.  Moose was my hero tonight however, he was able to agitate the bat enough for it to move on its nubbinwings far enough away from the door so I could slip past and inside.  In my hasty retreat I accidentally left Gracie out to fend off the beast herself!  When I opened up the door to let her in I did not see the bat so I can only assume it flew out.  I don't know though because I haven't been out there since. 

It was a lot bigger in person!!  Notice how he is directly in front of the door?! 

7 comments:

  1. Are you sure that's a bat and not a pile of crap that you left thinking there was a bat in there?... LOL

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  2. Awww... Poor little bat. It was probably scared and hurt. The sound you heard was probably it throwing sound to orient it's self. Bats use sonar to navigate and it was probably really confused and lost, in your garage.

    It sounds as if you are okay. But if you suddenly start wanting to sleep all day and bite people on the neck, I'll call Buffy. :P

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  3. Maria - I am sure it was not a pile of poo thankyouverymuch!

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  4. So not funny for you but funny to read. Glad you survived the attack.

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  5. OMG.. I know that was not fun to go through.. but you really have a way with telling this story and I had to laugh.. I would have freaked out too!! (so I guess I shouldn't laugh, but all I could think of was the scene from Christmas vacation and the squirell).. Glad all is calm on the homefront..

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  6. Awww, I love bats! They're so cute! (Ask me if I feel that way after one tries to attack me in my own home. I'm thinking probably not.)

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