What is my problem? I have had the band for a little over 5 months now and I feel like the biggest loser and I don't mean in the good way like the people losing an amazing amount of weight on tv. I am feeling really depressed lately. I don't know if its the stress of work, the stress at home or a combination of both, but I am feeling blah. Why is it so hard for me to get off my lazy heiny and exercise? I bought a Biggest Loser DVD with the best of intentions on doing it at least 3 nights a week after work, but I think I have done it maybe 3 times period. I am not making excuses, but it is really hard when you live with someone who is not very supportive or into it. I have the best of intentions on my way home and then when I walk in the door my husband is like let's eat dinner first and then I'll help you with the dishes and after you start laundry you can exercise. Gee thanks. I mean in my mind I know it's what I need to do, but I don't. I know it's my own fault and I am the only one who can change it, yeah yeah, I know all that. I think I am also feeling a little embarrassed. I think I am letting people down when I don't lose weight like they think I should. I keep telling myself that I am doing this for me, not anyone else. I shouldn't care what other people think....why is that so hard for me? Why do I need people to like me so much? Why do I feel the need to people please all the time? Just some things I am going to work on for the new year.
Also, completely random. I am so paranoid that I have completely ruined my surgery and have stretched out my stomach. I don't know why, but this is a huge fear of mine. Once again, thinking that I am not good enough to have this surgery and to be happy. I mean, how hard is it to stretch out your stomach above the band?! I am just crazy talk today I guess.....so glad it's the weekend.