Tuesday, January 19, 2010

When did I think I can turn to I know I can? Well I will tell you.....

So this weekend I think was a turning point for me.  My husband is Italian and pasta is at least a once a week thing in our house.  When we first got married I learned how to make all his favorites from his mom.....I know, huge shoes to fill!   For a long time I also thought I had to eat like Joe.  Back to this weekend......my aunt was visiting from out of town and we all met over at my dads house.  I volunteered to make baked ziti, a family favorite.  Once we all sat down to eat, I was not that hungry.  I put just a Blackberry size portion (I couldn't come up with a better reference right now) on my plate and maybe ate 1/2 of it.  Before I would have eaten twice that.  I can now go almost all day without eating.  I have to force myself to eat a little during the day.    I know that my surgery was 5 months ago, but I think I am just now starting to reap the benefits.  I am so excited!  I am excited about the possibilites, I am excited about getting healthy.

My mom lives in FL and I don't get to see her nearly enough.  My dad and I drove down so he could spend time with Mamaw and Papaw (his mom and dad) and I could spend new years with my mom.   I was kind of discouraged while I was down there because I felt like I let my family down because I had not lost a lot of weight and I think my stepdad and mom were expecting huge results.  I say all this because my new goal is to lose at least 35 lbs by May 22nd.  Why May 22nd you ask?  It is my little brothers high school graduation and I am flying down for it.  I want my family to see a difference in me.  All of my brothers friends find me hilarious because I make them laugh as the funny fat sister.  My brother has never said anything but great things to me, but I feel like sometimes he is ashamed of me.  I don't want to be his old fat sister anymore, I want him to be proud of me.   I know it's not a huge goal, but if I lose more GREAT!!!  I am starting to tell myself I know I can instead of I think I can....that is a major step to me at least!! :)

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